What if?
by KittieKat666
Summary: Im terrible at writing summaries. And Terrible at naming new stories. Opie's alive, Tara's pregnant again. Shes already had Thomas.
1. Chapter 1

Authors note: I do not own this series, Kurt sutter does. Just this random storyline. Suicide heavily plays in this first chapter, if you don't like reading of it. This isn't the story for you. Opie is still alive, along with Donna.

Tara was pissed that one of the guys was following her. After running over one of their motorcycles the previous day, they had gotten smart and started following her around in one of the vans. No longer was Juice following her, but Tig. She sat inside the house pondering what to do, than opening the curtains to flip the smiling Tig the bird.

"Where do you think your going, Tara?" Tig asked while leaning nonchantly against her vehicle. "I'm dropping the kids off, I have business to do," she responded with a sneer on her face. "You know Jax said no daycare, Tara". " I never said I was taking them to fucking daycare, now did I?" Tara growled out, than shoved Tig away from the car. She than peeled out of the driveway over to Gemma's where she knew Unser was staying at for the moment.

"Can you watch them for a little while, apparently they are not allowed at daycare anymore?" "Yeah, yeah, sure, sure, go ahead, we can read some books and make some lunch." Unser replied. Gemma came from out the back, startled, but surprised to see her grandkids. "Business, I guess," he gestured to the kids with a wave of his hands.

Walking into the new MC club house Tara asked where Jax was. The very young teen girl at the counter replied, " He's up at Diosa, I think the name is, said he'd be back later on. Tara was furious at the revelation, letting the front door slam hard behind her, scaring the croweaters. Speeding down the road all Tara could think about was shooting Jaxon. Why couldn't you be faithful for once? I gave you a son and raised your other son. Her inner turmoil and thoughts felt like they were eating her alive. She lowered one hand to her to slide over the slight bump that was visible if you looked at her from the side. Thinking to herself, this is exactly why I need to get away from here.

Diosa was quaint too bad it was filled with nothing but whore. Lyla walked by causing Tara to duck so she wouldn't be recognized and stopped. A redhead in super high heels and a robe on approached her, "Who you looking for dollface?" Tara gave her this sickeningly sweet smile, " You wouldn't happen to know where Collette was, she asked me to stop by to talk earlier." "She's with a client upstairs right now, go ahead and sit in the parlour and I'll let her know your here once she's done. Anything to drink while you wait?" Tara just shook her head and smiled. The only thought running through Tara's mind was, I fucking knew it, I'm going to kill the whore. Running up the stairs, she kicked the door in with her boots only to find her husband being ridden by the skank. "What the fuck" she screamed drawing attention to herself. Both Collette and Jax looked at her with surprise on their faces. "Couldn't keep your dick in your pants could you dear husband?" Tara snarled out with an ugly look on her faec.

Tara ran forward snatching Collette up by her hair and throwing punches into her face wherever she could find purchase. Collette started screaming and fighting back somehow flipping herself on top of Tara and trading blow for blow. All Tara could think was to try and protect her stomach. Jax finally rushed over grabbing Collette off his wife, while Collette was kicking Tara like a screeching hellcat. This left time for Tara to stand up and rush forward throwing her fist backwards across Collette's face effectively smashing her nose. The sickening crunch heard throughout the room along with the blood curdling scream proved that her nose was offically broken. Jax dropped Collette on the floor in a heap, to go grab his wife to stop her from doing anymore damage. "Knock it off, Tara." Jax yelled reaching for her, before he knew it he had a gun pointed to his face. "Back the fuck up before, I splatter your brains all over the fucking wall Jaxon Teller." Tara screamed out. "You pretend to love me, marry me, and all you do is fucking cheat... Everything is so fucking dsyfunctional.. You wonder why I tried to run. Because I can't take the bullshit anymore. You don't love me, and I don't think you ever did Jaxon Teller." She's still pointing the gun at him as she storms out of the room with Jax yelling, " I'm never going to let you take my boys over my dead body Tara. It'll be the last thing you do, if you think your getting away from me."

Shakily she put the car in gear and slide the glock back into her purse, and pulls out of the drive to go back to charming. The tears can't help but flow at this point. She knows that Jax is going to make sure she never leaves with the boys, or is even alone with them. At his point she's not even sure what to do. If she tired to run, they'd surely kill her. Her heart now broke, she could only think there was only one option left. But first she had to see her boys. "Mommy loves you, Abel and Thomas." Tara said as she cradled her sons in her arms. "Remember, Abel, Tommy needs you to teach him and protect him." Tara's eyes were watered up at these thoughts. She laid them back down for their nap after feeling like she had loved on them as much as she could. "Do you mind watching them until Jax picks them up?" "Sure, Is everything all right Tar, your eyes are all watery and where you going?" Unser asked. "Nowhere, absolutely nowhere," she said as she walked away wiping her face.

Tara walked into the house she used to call a happy home, but wasn't that any longer. This would be the last time she'd ever see any of this. There was no way out, no other choices for her. She wandered through the house looking through the kid's rooms. The last room down the hall was the room that she shared with someone whom she loved, but obviously didn't love her back. Her heart shattering into a million tiny pieces, she picked up a pen and pad of paper. Than began to write a few tiny notes, not that any of them would matter. Wandering down the hall slowing stripping, taking off her button shirt, than bra, dropping the pieces of clothing piece by piece in a trail down the hallway. She opened the bathroom door, to start the bathtub. Once the tub was filled, Tara climbed in and sank in, water splashing out everywhere. Grabbing the razor, Tara glided it up her wrist and arm, applying enough pressure to separate the flesh down to the veins. Her eyes watered and she softly began to cry. Flipping the razor to the other side, she shakily repeated her previous action. The feeling wasn't euphoric like she had thought it would be, but a part of her felt like she was flying free. Her body snuck further into the water. Her last conscious thoughts were of her babies.. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough for you.

JAX POV

"The boys still there?" Jax had called Gemma to ask. "Ya, Tara stopped by, spoke all sorts of crazy shit, than up n left," was his mom's reply. Pulling in front of his house he could see Tara's suv parked in their driveway. Opening the front door he yelled out," Tara, where the hell are you?!" He looked down the hall seeing her clothing strewn out all over the place. Jax was now seeing red and pulled his gun out from the back of his pantss. She's fucking some guy. Are you fucking kidding me? He kicked in the bedroom door even though it wasn't locked and found it to be empty. Hearing the squish beneath his feet, he looked down only to see the carpet outside the bathroom was soaked and had a funky tinge to it, along with the water sopping out from underneath the door. Turning the knob and seeing the floor flooded with red water kicked him into high-gear. Tara's bloody wrist was hanging outside the side of the tub. "Oh god, Tara wake up," Jax yelled, tapping her face with his hands. She was barely breathing, "Wake up please, Tara, why would you do this?" He pulled out his phone and dialed 911. Her face had taken on an ashen gray color. Never in his life had be so scared. Grabbing two towels, he wrapped them around her wrists in hopes to stop the bleeding as much as possible. The tears started to blur his vision. "Please don't die, Tara. I love you. I'm so sorry. I know I've made promises I didn't keep and that I've done so many wrong things... Those other woman never meant a thing, I ..." he cried out.

The sirens blaring in the background had signaled that the ambulance had finally pulled up out front and the medics came rushing in with the board. They calmly had Jax move from the room, so they could set up and do what they needed to do to save Tara's life, they didn't want to think what would happen if they couldn't save her. Jax called Gemma to let her know what happened and that he was following behind the ambulance. "Shit, Jax, what'd you do?" was Gemma's response before he hung up the phone. She'd let the MC know what was going on. It was no surprise to Jax to see Chibs and the rest of the MC already waiting at the hospital for them. The surprise came in the form of a swift punch to the nose from Opie though. "What the fuck did you do to Tara, Jackson?" he growled out. He had been gone in jail for the last few months, so he had missed out on all the drama unfolding from the outside, only to get out and hear what was going on from Donna. Jax held his nose in pain," I didn't do anything to her, I found her that way." "If she lives and tells me otherwise I'll kill you myself Jax," Opie shoved past him down the hall.

The stretcher came flying down the hallways of where Tara so happened to work, passing by Mary Margaret at the most inopportune time. Margaret's face took on an ashen white when she realized it was Tara on the stretcher. The medics currently were telling the on duty surgeon the details of how she was found along with her current stats. The surgeon put his hang out letting Jax know he wasn't welcome past the doors into the OR.

General POV

It had seemed like hours before the doctor came out to speak to Jax. He had been pacing the waiting room, not saying a peep to any of the guys and them just giving him a light pat on the back to assure him they were there if needed. Jax was so stressed, how did the situation get this far. The doctor came out from the doors of the OR and pulled him aside, pulling his mask down off his face. The blood all over him was a staggering amount that made Jax's heart palpitate harder. "I'm Dr. Gerandy and if you'd like to talk," he gesture to an empty area away from the MC. They made him nervous, and he was sweating bullets, so to speak. Everyone in the hospital knew Tara was married to this man who happened to be the President of said club. Chibs stood to follow them, but Jax's hand gesture told him he was fine. "What's going on? Is Tara alive?" Jax started off with the questioning. "Well for starters, when she slit her wrists on the right side, she knicked a major artery that needed repair. The left was not as deep probably from the blood loss and her possibly passing out. We repaired that side as well and gave her stitches. Her wrists are wrapped. She needed blood as too, so we performed a transfusion, she just lost too much and is currently still under the effects of the anthestia. We aren't sure when she will even come to. Maybe in the next 24-48 hours. The only problem we encountered amongst this is that your daughter might not be strong enough after this trauma, so your wife might not make it to term and as the baby is only 20 weeks, there's not much we can do yet." Jax stared at the doctor in confusion, jaw dropped. "Baby... daughter..." he whispered.

Dr. Gerandy's face could only fall at this discovery. Dr. Knowles had never told him about her pregnancy. "You didn't know. I'm sorry." was the only words the doctor could offer him in comfort. "I have a few other patients I need to check on. I will have a nurse left you know when you can go back to see her, if you want." All Jax could do was shake the doctors hand and go sit down in a chair, face buried into his hands. It was this moment Gemma came into the waiting room and seeing Jax with his face in his hands that the worst had happened. She ran over to him pulling him into her arms,"Oh my baby boy." At hearing this the rest of the club came over surrounding him, starting to give their condolences. "Shut the fuck up, Tara's not dead or dying." he spit out. The look of relief could be seen on a few faces especially Opie standing behind everyone. "Tara tried to kill herself.". A few gasps were heard from the prospects who weren't yet accustomed to all the death. "But she is pregnant.. They don't know if the baby will make it because of all the traua from Tara loosing so much blood." Jax stated teary eyed. "Oh, that little bitch tried to kill my grandbaby" Gemmas said face twisted in anger, fists turning white from being clenched tightly. "Don't fucking say that shit!" Jax's angry response was loud in the lobby. "Jackie boy, ya need to calm yourself down,"Chibs said while putting his hand on Jax's shoulder.

"You fucking knew something was up didn't you Op?" Jax's hard eyes stared through the group to his supposed best friend. "Ya, I knew Tara was pregnant, she visited me a few times, told me what the fuck was going on. I told her I wasn't gonna say a damn word. Why the fuck should I? I told you when we were all growing up, not to fucking hurt her. And what do you do constantly Jax, just that hurt her. That girl gave up everything for you, and you just rub it back in her face." Opie calmly stated while turning to walk away. Jax knew in a way Opie was right, he just didn't expect him to take his wife's side. They did all grow up together, he knew Tara had a shitty life and moved away for that reason. He just wasn't strong enough to let her go again when she came back. He turned to his mom, " I can't help, but be so angry, he knew she was pregnant... She's 20 weeks pregnant. She hid this from me for four fucking months." "Argh, I'm just so ," Jax tried to get out before yanking at his hair roughly.

A nurse gently put her hand on Jax's arm," You can go into her room now if you want, Mr. Teller. " Happy, Tig, I want y'all outside the door tonight. I'm gonna go let the boys know mommy's sick, and not coming home. And to tuck them in. Mom, you okay to stay the night with them?" "Of course, I'll watch em." Gemma's reply was. The hospital seemed to quiet down and everyone both patients and doctors alike started to finally relax.

Tara's/Jax's/General Pov

My eyes were so heavy. I couldn't seem to open them. The air around me smelled so sterile like a hospital. Was I dead? I thought I was. My last moments had been spent thinking of the boys that I loved and hoping for the best for them. Ack, I started gagging, I felt like someone was choking me. "Mrs. Teller, calm down please! You've been out for quite some time. I have to pull the tubes from your throat." a nurse tried to say. Tara finally was able to open her eyes and could she had lived and was currently sitting in a room at the hospital she was working at. Tears welled up in her eyes, it had taken everything from her to do what she did and here she was still alive. Hand flying to the slight bump she had kept hidden for the last few months, " The baby is fine right now, Mrs. Teller. We've been monitoring her while you've been out. She's a fighter," the nurse said while smiling. "I'll be back in a little while to bring you some water and to check your stats. Do you need anything?" "Please just call me Ms. Knowles," Tara added. The nurse just nodded with a tight lipped smile before walking out of the door.

"Ms. Knowles, huh?" Jax asked. Tara's heart monitor started to beep crazily and she was ready to have a heart attack hearing his voice. Eyes flinging open and looking over at her so called husband she replied curtly with, Yes Ms. Knowles. "Really, Tara, you'd kill yourself over this shit? Do you really hate me that much?" Jax eyes looked down at the floor glistening. She didn't know how to reply to that, so she just turned her head to look at the door, hoping for a reprieve. She didn't want to talk to him about anything. Just wished he'd disappear. Her heart was aching.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Disclaimer: I do not own SOA, kurt sutter owns all rights. :)

Author note: To all the reviews, thank you so much. I appreciate them, I don't get to write as much and I'm always wondering if its even good enough. And I haven't decided if I want it to be an HEA story or not. I do love my happy endings and get super disappointed when I read stories and that is missing. The story is definitely non canon. And while I know everyone hates Gemma, there has been a few good stories where she's not the she devil. So hopefully I don't disappoint ya'll she's definetely not all bad that she seems. Just a tough person who acts like a hard ass most the time. I will try to update as soon as possible. I don't have a beta so I am going back and rereading looking for errors. Don't always catch them. And I hate short chapters.

"Well, I gotta go check on our sons that you sure as hell weren't thinking about when you did what you did. Gemma has been nice enough to watch them for us."Jax said. Tara just rolled her eyes why rolling over in bed, eyes watering not even speaking a word to him. What could she say. He broke her heart and pushed her to the edge. "I'll be back later tonight and you will talk to me whether you want to or not," Jax spoke again while walking across the room and getting ready to shut the door. Tara threw the glass of water the nurse had given her the previous night. Jax hurried to shut the door, luckily missing the glass that was thrown, instead it shattered loudly against her room door. Pushing the button to call the nurse to her room, she waited trying to think of what to do once she was able to get out of the hospital. "Yes, Ms. Knowles, how can I help you?" the younger redheaded nurse asked. Tara didn't recognize her, but she was most likely one of the few newer interns. "I'd like to request restrictions on visitors to my room." Tara said while handing the nurse a slip of paper. This is the only person I'd like to be able to come into my room. "Sure thing, Ms. Knowles," the nurse walked out of the room.

3 days later:

It had been a strenuous three days with all the poking and proding they had been doing on Tara. The baby was definitely a fighter and today was the day she was being discharged. Opie and Donna were supposed to come get her and take her to the house for her to get a few belongings for herself. She was going to be staying with them for awhile, which really meant an undetermined amount of time. She knew Jax had been sitting in the waiting room every day blowing up a storm, not having any clue what was going on with Tara. Tara hoped that he already had made a scene earlier before it was time for her to leave with Opie. It was now 2 pm and time for her to be discharged and she had finished packing her bags and putting the pictures of the sonogram she had this morning in her purse. A knock on the door alerted her to someone on the other side of the door,"Whose there?" her breath held in case it was somehow Jax. "It's just me Tar, I came to see if you were ready to come home with me?" "Op, yeah, I don't think I can take another day here, if you know what I mean. I may work here, but doesn't mean I wanna be hooked up to machines and poked at." "The nurse let me know on my way in that Jax hadn't stopped by today, so be prepared if hes out there. Nobodies seen him at the MC either." Opie let her know.

"Let's just hurry out of here in case anyone is here watching and waiting like Jax's lap dogs." Tara said while throwing a backwards glance at Opie. She grabbed her purse than had him follow her down the back set of stairs that led through the employee exit. She really didn't want to chance running into any of them. They rushed down the few flights carefully seeing as Tara had to take a slower pace cause she was still feeling slightly sick and her arm was itchy as hell. That was to be expected though since she had the stitches and wrappings. Finally to the employee exit/entrance, they opened the door leading to the outside. "Oh my god Op, after being inside for those few days, it smells wonderful out here," she squealed. You would have thought she had been trapped inside for months, but they wouldn't allow her to open the windows or leave the room she was confined to, because of the suicide attempt. "God, I could just kiss the damn ground, it's never looked so amazing." Tara joked around with Opie. He leaned over and gave her a huge hug and kept his arm around her, walking her to his black tahoe.

"What the fuck is going on here, seriously fucking op! You fucking banging my wife while your at it?" Jackson came barreling over to them, Tara protectively holding her belly. "Get the fuck back Jax, you may be my best friend, but what you've been doing to Tara is fucked. So get the fuck outta here before I force you to get outta here." Opie said while Jax was pushed up against the tahoe and his arm against his throat. "I'm telling ya, leave Tara alone. She's coming home with me and Donna for awhile. If you get your shit together maybe, she will come home, maybe not. But your not gonna force her to do shit. There's quite a few of the guys that feel that way." "But...But... I love you Tara, I don't know what the hell I was thinking when I did all that stupid shit, I wasn't purposely trying to hurt you. I love you, and I'll try and make it up to you." Jax said while pushing back to walk over to his cyc and driving off. Tara collapsed breathing heavily looking up at Opie," I don't wanna go back Op, I can't take the bullshit anymore. Tears welling in her eyes. I love him still, but he just FUCK Op.. I don't even know anymore." she said as she rubbed at her wrists. The reminder of what she was getting out of the hospital for. How stupid she was to let everything eat her up to the point of this.

The next few days were spent in her friend Donna's home where everyone was more than nice enough to make her feel welcome. Donna had especially been busy picking up extra shifts at work, so Tara made it her duty to help her out by cleaning the house, making dinner, and watching the kids for her. She was on leave from her job, Mary Margaret had pulled some strings and left her leave of abscence open and her job open whenever she felt ready to come back under the conditions that Tara checked in with her once a week and talk to someone anyone about her problems. Tara had just got done dropping the kids off at school and was going to start laundry when the doorbell rang. She wasn't aware that anyone was going to stop by, at least neither Op or Donna had told her they were expecting anyone. When she opened the door it was the last person she expected to see. "You gotta be fucking kidding me...What the hell do you want Gemma? Come to gloat in my face that I've finally gone crazy?" Tara said exasperated.

"What the hell, Tara, I thought you were stronger than all the shit that goes on behind the scenes? You knew what you were getting into when you got back with my son." Gemma stated while letting herself into the house. "Those boys miss their mommy, why don't you go home? I know we don't get along worth a shit, but those little boys are something we both understand." "Maybe you were okay with Clay fucking the croweaters and whores, but I'm not, in any way shape or form. I can handle the club bullshit most days, but the infidelity I can't." Tara said while looking down than looking back up at Gemma. "Look sweetie, I'll have Unser drop off the boys later so you can spend some time with him, Jax isn't handling this shit well, and at least you can spend some time with them." Gemma said while flicking imaginary dirt from out undernearth her nails. "Why do you even care? And why are you being so nice to me?" Tara questioned. "Because Jax will never be happy without Tara. For all his fuck ups and misgivings, it's always gonna be you he wants. He's never been happier in his life without you in it. Sure you two fight and he does stupid shit, but its always gonna be you he's thinking about. And I want my son and grandsons happy. Your not a skank like the women who hang out in our club and your not a junky bitch like his ex-wife. We may not see eye to eye, but theres' no better woman for my son. And this conversation doesn't leave this fucking room. I don't want to lose my reputation in the club as the hard ass bitch. Now where's the bathroom in this shithole?" Gemma finished her mini speech and Tara pointed at where the bathroom was. She was pretty sure she'd have to pick up her jaw after that conversation.

Gemma came out from the bathroom," Well I'll go home and get the boys ready to come over to see you. Unser will be by to drop them off, and I'll come over later to pick them back up. I'll try to keep Jax away from the house so he doesn't go off the wall. Remember Tara, we all do stupid shit when we think things are over and unrepairable. Let that stew for awhile." Gemma let Tara know while leaving. Locking all the locks on the front door while leaving, Tara just slid down the door and sat on the floor. "Is she on drugs, she can't be serious... Is this some horror movie and someone snatched her body?...She's never ever been nice to me in my life, and here she comes showing up going on and on." Great, now I am talking to myself, glad no ones here to think I am even crazier than I am.

The days that passed were repetive and quiet. Gemma held up her end of the bargain in keeping Jax away and bringing her sons around to which she was surprised. Life was a bit boring if she really thought about it. But was she ready to add a bit of stress back in? Should she really try to attempt to go talk to Jax? Donna would be home in a bit since it was her day off, so Tara drafted her a quick note about her whereabouts would be just in case something happened, she'd know where she was.

Walking into the clubhouse, the smells that hit her were awful. Dry heaving and clutching her belly a little bit she leaned out of the doorway. The morning sickness and triggers for her this pregnancy were awful. Big hands came to help Tara back outside carefully," What you doing here Tara?" Piney asked. "Well I thought I'd come talk to Jax, its been awhile. Ya know? I kinda miss him unless its the pregnancy hormones." Tara laughed. "I don't think ya wanna be here darling." Piney gave her a look. "It's not the best place for ya with all the smoke and shit inside there." "That was never a big deal before Piney, let me guess he went back on his word and is fucking some bitch?" Piney didn't even try to give an excuse just looked away at the sun. Tara shoved past him and went straight to the back room where Jax sometimes slept. I swear I will put a bullet in his fucking head if he's back here fucking some bitch again. Throwing the door wide open, she didn't find Jax in here, but Collette just lounging on his bed in lingerie. "Get the fuck out you skank bitch!" Tara screamed at her. "Unfucking likely you crazy broad, Jax told me he left your psychotic ass. He's mine now." Collette replied with a twisted smile on her face. "If you don't get the fuck out of this room, I'll fucking kill you. Get OUT NOW!" Collette got up and walked up to Tara smacking her in the face hard, "And again I'll tell you I'm not leaving." She than turned around which gave Tara the moment to jump on her back hard, both falling on top of the bed. Tara started punching her in the back of the head, ripping out tufts of hair. "I fucking hate you, you skank. He'll never be yours. You'll never wear his crow, it's already on me. I MARRIED him, and I gave birth to his babies. You were just a fuck!" Collette somehow flipped them over and started to punch Tara in the face and was going to hurt her in the stomach, but Tara managed to grab one of Jax's decorative knives from the head of the bed and stabbed Collette in her shoulder. When the knife was about to go in, thats when Gemma had run into the room. Piney had told her he tried to get Tara to leave, but she went into the back room and the whore from Diosa was down here waiting for Jax. So Gemma had come running down the halls, knowing something was about to go down. The blood had splattered Tara's face and she was clutching her stomach protectively after she had pushed Collette to the floor. "You... You fucking stabbed me. You crazy bitch. I'll put you in jail." She hissed while scooching back away from Tara.

"Look here you crazy cunt, I'll be a witness and say I was shopping with Tara today, and none of the guys will say they saw you here today. Get the fuck out of my clubhouse. Jax hasn't been here in days. If you even think about saying shit to anyone, I'll beat your ass myself. GO!" Gemma yelled while kicking her. Collette tried to grab her clothes, but Gemma was quicker," Oh no, no, you don't get to leave with your clothes you slut. Walk of shame now!" Gemma pointed her finger towards the exit. While all the yelling and screaming had accrued a huge crowd watching them. "Tig?" Gemma sweetly said. "Yes." " Get the fucking prospects in here to clean this up." Looking around to the rest of the guys," What ya'll bastards see?" "Nothing, nothing at all Gemma." the crowd exclaimed while moving back into the bar. "Let's get you all cleaned up. I knew you had some balls in there." She spoke while looking at Tara.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own the series. Just the storyline.

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed. I appreciate it so much. Sorry for the delays in the updates. It just has been busy with my husband being home for the first time in over a month, and work, kids etc.

Chapter 3

It had been a few days since the incident with Collette, and Tara hadn't decided when to try to talk to Jax again. She was still healing from the bruises across her face and a few from the hits she took to her chest. The babies were doing all right, Gemma had forced her to go get checked up to make sure the babies were doing okay. They were, she knew she shouldn't of went charging in like a maniac, but in that moment all she could see was red.

All Jax knew about his room at the clubhouse was that there had been a fight in the bedroom and it had to be cleaned up from the blood splatters. No one told him what happened other than the fact there had been a fight inside there. He wondered if some of the croweaters got into it back there. They knew he was estranged from Tara, hell everyone in charming knew the couple were estranged, which just brought the sluts out in full force trying to capture his attention. All of it was pretty irritating. He didn't want some random pussy, he wanted his wife back, and if it meant trying to change some things, he would try. At this point Jax was at his lowest, his son Abel, seemed to sense it was his fault that mommy wasn't around and was never happy to be near him. And his best friend Opie wasn't speaking to him on the account of Tara. Opie was like the big brother Tara never had, he should've known that he would take everything to heart once he got back from jail and heard about everything that was going on. Even Gemma pulled him aside one night and told him to get his fucking shit together. She never talked that way to him. After everyone pointing the fingers at him, he started to see how everything was his fault. Stripping down to go to bed in a room that smelled like chemicals, he could only think about how badly he had been fucking up with Tara and even everyone else.

The routine that Tara had been following for the weeks prior to the incident at the clubhouse kept her sane,so she continued to go on about her business. Seeing the kids, taking care of Donna's household and talking to Gemma here and there. She was starting to feel antsy about possibly talking to Jax again, but didn't want to deal with anymore bullshit that always seemed to follow. The clubs activities had been quiet and starting to move away from less illegal activities according to Opie. She didn't know that it was cause of her that the club was trying to become legit as possible while still making money. Maybe, just maybe she'd attempt to go talk to Jax tomorrow after lunch since the kids would be over, she'd have to wait until Gemma picked them back up.

The boys were so excited to see their momma the next day and even Abel asked her when she was going to come home. Hopefully soon baby, hopefully soon she had responded with a kiss to his head. She had made cookies with them and gave them baggies to take with them, and their favorite lunch. Tara had let Gemma know what she was going to be doing, now that Gemma picked the boys up to go back to her house. She wasn't sure if she should go back to "their" home, or attempt to meet up at the club. The safest route would be home, but she really didn't want to go there. She hadn't been there since she had tried to kill herself. Rubbing her wrists she reminded herself, that was the past, this is now. I can do this.

Showing up at the clubhouse was probably a mistake, she knew that, it was extremely busy for a friday night. Why she had picked this day, she couldn't figure it out. She was sure it was probably hormones running rampant. She hadn't had sex for months now, not since she had found out she had been pregnant and extremely sick. Why her brain seemed to wander to those thoughts, she couldn't even think, it was probably because Jax was leaning up to the bar, cigarette in his mouth, pants tight in all the right spots, hair cut short, and freshly shaven. Her girly bits were squealing in excitement, extreme excitement. Down girl, down, just came to talk to him, nothing else. She had a smile on her face until she saw Ima leave over and rub her hand provactively down Jax's thigh making her way up to his crotch. Before she turned around, she seen Jax grab Ima's hand not gently in any sense and shove her away from him. Jax looked extremely angry, and Tara was proud of him in that instant. Turning down pussy didn't come easy to him, she knew that. Jax turned and waved his hand for another beer to the bartender, when he turned back around he locked eyes with his now by his count 26 week pregnant wife.

Jax thought she looked absolutely fuck hot. She was gorgeous, especially with her rounding belly that held his child, his only daughter. She waddled over to him, noticing that her was checking her out. She was so self conscious, he had been in jail for Thomas, so there wasn't any sex or any reason to feel self conscious with him, but now with her hormones raging a war within her and telling her to feed the need. She was sure Jax could see the drool dripping from her mouth or for sure he was noticing how much she was swaying her hips in her walk, trying to rub her thighs together as she walked. His sexy smirk could tell he knew what Tara was thinking. It couldn't hurt to just this once, Tara thought. She needed this, probably more than anything. Grabbing what little hair Jax did have, she pulled his lips to hers, and fastened them. Jax picked up his wife and put her atop the bar countertop and let her keep control of the kissing. Tara was panting heavily while Jax was kissing the tiny little spot on her neck that always made her knees weak and like jello, eyes rolling back into her head. Huge "Woo's" were heard all around the clubhouse, that seemed to snap Tara back into reality. She looked down sheepishly, forgetting that there was a party going on. If Jax had ripped her clothes off right here, she would've let him. Stupid hormones. "We uhh need to talk, yes talk." Tara whispered out.

Jax lead her into the room where they held church, she had froze up and had a meltdown when he tried to take her back into his room. He had no clue why she was freaking out over it, but rather instead of fighting, he just decided to take her into the room where he held church once a week. Leaning against the table Jax spoke,"What did you want to talk about Tara?" Tara looked at her husband up close for the first time in weeks, his eyes had heavy bags, like he wasn't sleeping, just like her. He looked exhausted, and not himself. She reached up and touched his face softly, brushing her lips against his gently. It sure didn't take much for her to forget the real purpose of being here. Talk, yeah thats what we are supposed to be doing she thought until, he started kissing and nibbling down her throat. Ughhh she couldn't help the moan that escaped her. Jax flipped her so her back was against the table, lifting her up and sitting her on the top of the table, he plundered her mouth hard and demanding. Tara's panties got soaked instantly, oh god, oh god, she chanted in her head. Bad Tara, Bad, can't do this... Her hormones took over and any and all rational thoughts flew out the window. Breathing heavily she grabbed and tugged what little bit of hair that she could, violently kissing him. Forcing her tongue practically down his throat. Jax had never seen this side of Tara, but than again the only time they ever spent apart had been when he was locked up.

She kicked her heels up after unbuckling his pants to push his pants down as fast as possible, her head was spinning, but at the moment the haziness of the wanting him was all she could think about. Jax slid his hands up her thighs teasing,"want you, now, please oh god." Tara said while trying to hurry things along. Jax didn't even bother to take her skirt off nor her panties, just thrusted into her as quickly as possible. It felt like home to him, he was finally where he felt like he should be. The heavy panting, the heavy grunts, good thing there was a party raging outside the doors. Jax couldn't hold back and neither was Tara. Her nails digging into his forearms, drawing blood, but the pain was pleasureful for him. Didn't even stop him from his rhythm he had going. Pulling Tara closer to the edge, he lifted on thigh up and had her lean back slinging the one leg onto his shoulder, pushing deeper into her. From this new spot, Tara was screaming in seconds, eyes rolling into the back of her head, while Jax was thrusting harder and fast before coming undone and falling ontop of Tara careful of his daughter.

It only took Tara a minute to recollect her thoughts before shoving Jax away from her. "Oh god, we shouldn't of done that. It doesn't change anything between us Jax. It was just sex, you know scratching that itch." She gestued between the two of them. "I really came here to talk, and well I guess this time around hormones got the best of me. I gotta go." She pushed her skirt down, and started to take off, a pantless Jax following behind her. "Wait, Tara, come on, Tara." She had shoved the door open and was basically running her way to the front door. "Jax, man have some modesty, we all don't want to see your dick." Chibs laughed. Jax just pushed his way back into the room where church was held butt ass naked, slamming the door behind him. "Did he just come out of the room where we hold church?" Juice questioned. "Oh yeah, he was getting happy inside their on our table. Never gonna look at it the same." Tig replied while taking a swig of his beer while wandering off. Gemma seen Tara rush out of their and than her son rush out after her butt naked. What the hell did he think he was doing? Stupid idiot, she thought while getting her purse and keys heading into the room to see what he did to fuck up now. From across the room Collette grabbed her things and left as well. She was pissed that Jax was back to fucking his wife. She thought that things were over between the two, but obviously not. She would make sure she was the only one Jax was fucking. She would get rid of her problem, named Tara.

Letting the door slam shut hard behind her, Gemma looked up at her only son. "For fuck's sake put some goddamn pants on." she smirked a bit. "Ugh I fucked up again, but she came at me like a fucking dog in heat. Like I could turn her down. It's been months of jerking off, I could'nt help myself." Jax looked like a wounded animal spilling his thoughts to his mom. "Well first off, you two should've been talking, not in here fucking on the table where church his held." Gemma rolled her eyes at that second. "Nuh, uh no excuses boy, you have her scared and running away like Bambi now. You guys gotta talk sometime, those two boys don't understand what's going on, but they know their momma isn't coming home and daddy isn't really home either. Get your shit together Jax, you got a little girl on the way. You won't feel so good when some dickhead is treating her that way. " Jax could only agree with his mother, he should've talked to Tara, but the way she had kissed him was so primal. It had been a long time, since the two of them had went at it like that. Brought back memories in high school. He guffawed at those thoughts, come along way since than Jackson, he thought.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to SOA, kurt sutter does. I only own the plot line :) Sorry the update has literally taken forever. I lost interest in writing and was doing lots of reading myself. I am trying to get back on track though. Things definitely do not follow the tv show timeline nor does it follow what happened on the show. Thank you for all the follows, the favorites, and the reviews. I appreciate it more than anything. I will not demand reviews to write more, but I will attempt to write as much as possible.

Chapter 4:

Tara had been avoiding going to the store or even leaving Donna's home since her incident that night at the club. She really had meant to talk to Jax, but something about him was calling to her that night. That and the fact she hadn't had sex in so long, masturbation had gotten old. 'Ugh' the sex was soooo good though she thought. She was trying really had to ignore the feelings that this provoked. 'Cleaning, Ahh yes I will clean the house thoroughly.' she thought to herself. Donna would be thrilled, at least that what she hoped. The night was on repeat in Tara's mind though. "Shouldn't of went there, shouldn't of molested him, but fuck was it so good." she was muttering to herself while scrubbing the kitchen floor. "Doll, you just keep telling yourself that." Gemma replied to Tara's muttering. Wide eyed and like a deer in head lights Tara looked up at Gemma, " When did you get here? I didn't even hear the door open or shut." "Well darling, you were in here too busy rambling on about the sex you and my son had on the church table the other night, you must have not heard the door slam shut." Tara couldn't help but roll her eyes at the other womans remarks. "Did anyone else notice that we screwed in the church room?" Tara asked while blushing furiously. "Oh darling, everyone and their mama's know that you and my son were in their screwing. Doesn't help that you come running out half naked than he's running out butt ass naked.

'Ugh', Tara ran her hands down her face. "I couldn't help myself, fuck! It's been so damn long. And my other pregnancy he was locked up, and this one there he is just out strutting his shit." "Oh baby," Gemma gave Tara a hug. "It's them Teller genes baby. If me and John weren't fighting, we were fucking." Gemma tried to make Tara feel better. Tara hugged her back than sat down on the couch. "My back is absolutely killing me. She's so active, 24 hours a day it seems. The only time I even get somewhat down time is when I'm peeing." She let out a snort at the statement. "Well doll, you shouldn't be on your hands and knees scrubbing someone else's home. Maybe it's time to think about heading back home, maybe working on your relationship. I am sure with how wound up Jax is, that you could convince him to do all the house work and kick your feet up." Gemma replied back with ease, picking up a few toys and putting them in the bins sitting in the corner. " I don't even think that I could go back home though. I don't think he deserves my forgiveness and I'm not even sure I could forgive him. But it'd be nice to sleep in my own home and be near my boys all the time. I guess I will have to talk to him, ask for space, but come back home for now." Tara looked at Gemma with a hopeful glance. "That boy knows he's fucked up Tara, I'm sure the little prick would give you the moon and stars if he could. I gotta go pick up Juice from his "therapy session" out in Diosa. That boy is going downhill slowly, constantly high and sleeping with the crows." Gemma mumbled while leaving. Tara closed the door behind her mother in law, one of the very few rare times that she actually considered Gemma as such. Sliding down the door, she knew she had to talk to Jax first about coming home, than tell Opie and Donna she was going to be leaving if things with her talk went all right.

It was slightly after lunch time when Tara ventured back to the clubhouse wary of all the activity going on at this time of day. 'What the hell was everyone doing here today?' Normally this was the quietest time of the day, but for some reason today it was awkwardly busy. Tig spied Tara before anyone else did and the whistle he let out with the hips thrusting told Tara that he definitely did not forget her running through there the other night half naked. "Go fuck yourself Tig," Tara called out while flipping him the bird strolling into the place. A few of the crows recognized Tara and started to move towards the door, they had heard about her volatile behavior towards Collette from Diosa and the fact Jax was doing whatever she wanted regarding woman. Lyla just gave Tara a small wave, the two females never had a problem, Lyla didn't want Jax and she didn't randomly sleep with the guys. She came looking for protection and the occasional dancing on party nights. Tara was actually the one who had found her beaten half dead in an alley and called the mc to fix the situation.

Luck seemed to be on her side as since all the crows had cleared out it was quiet on the inside of the club. Tara shook with hesitation, Gemma had told her that Jax was in his room here at the club today, but the previous memories haunted her of the room. She kinda hated it, if she had to think about it. Walking down the hall passing the bathroom to the room she felt a hand grab her wrist tightly and in instinct Tara took the palm of her hand and smashed it into the nose of her would be attacker effectively breaking the person nose with a crunch. Ima clutched her nose,"You bitch, you broke my fucking nose." "Your the whore who grabbed me like a maniac, what do you expect?" "You know he doesn't want you anymore," Ima whispered, "We just got done fucking." She smiled so evilly, like the cat that ate the canary. The yelling had woken Jax up from his whatever he thought he was doing state and opened the bedroom door to see his wife and Ima arguing. 'Shit, this can't be good at all." "Ima get the fuck away from Tara before I forcibly make you get the fuck out of my club." Jax snarled out of her grabbing her upper arm harshly. "That bitch broke my nose." Her voice was even higher and nasally than ever. "I don't give a fuck what my wife did to you, my club, my rules. If I don't give a shit no one else will either. Now go, before I call Tig's woman to come get you." Ima's eyes went wide before she basically ran out of there. Tig had brought Venus, a transvestite who was as evil as possible when she had to be, but radiated sunshines and rainbows with a southern accent. Ima and Venus did not get along, and the scar behind her ear proved how vicious Venus truly was. Tara gave Jax a look like that said, Tig, girlfriend, what? She was slightly confused. Jax was as sinful as they come, he was shirtless and his taunt muscles called to Tara to stroke her fingertips down them. Shaking out of her reverie," Do you have a minute, I wanna talk to you." She tried to put on her serious face, but was having troubles keeping a straight neutral face.

Her mind on the other hand was running in circles telling her to do naughty things to him. He turned to lead her back into the main room towards church doors. "You sure it's okay that we go in there? I know how you guys have set rules in place for a reason, I don't want the rest of the guys all mad at me, especially since I get along with quite a few. " Tara quietly whispered. "Nah, they will understand. I know how you don't wanna be in that room after the last time." Jax said while looking to the side. "What is it that you wanted to talk about Tara?" Tara couldn't help the tiny stutters that came out of her mouth," Well uhhh, I was talking to your mom earlier, and I'm just tired and exhausted. I can't stay with Opie and Donna anymore without feeling bad so I help out around the house, but I'm too pooped to keep bending over. What I'm saying Jax is that I wanna come home, but If I do things haven't changed. I still want my space, but I need help in taking care of things." She trailed off wringing her hands together. She wasn't sure how he would react to her news. Jax's jaw seemed to drop,"Uh what? You serious Tar?" his eyes were full of hopefullness. "Not like that Jax, just want to be in my own home. No sex, No relationship, I'm not even sure what I want still Jax." Tara didn't mean to hurt his feelings or by getting his hopes up at first, but she still really wasn't sure what she wanted from him anymore. The sex the other night had been misleading, it was great, but not what she came to do that night.

Jax felt like his heart was going to break, but at least Tara was coming home to their sons and with his daughter that was steadily growing inside. "K, Tar that's fine, I'll help in any way I can if it means you'll finally come home. Doesn't mean I won't stop trying for your forgiveness, or your love." Jax whispered. "Just because I don't want you right now Jax and I'm mad at you doesn't mean I ever stopped loving you, just means I am not in the right place to take your apologies or forgive you for everything you've done." Jax just nodded his head like he was agreeing with her, all the while inside his head he was hoping to rekindle their relationship and hope Tara could forgive him before the birth of their daughter. "Well we better head back out, I gotta get this shit going for today." "Yeah, what's going on out there? There's alot of people here for it being lunch time." Tara asked. "We offered to have a car wash here and donate the money to some research thing at the hospital. And doing cheap oil changes today for people. Had to figure out something else nice to do for the city of Charming." Jax grinned. 'That is the strangest shit I have ever heard in my life. The mc donating money, doing an actual charity like event. What alternate reality did I walk into.' "Whose Tig's girlfriend? I didn't even know Tig had a girlfriend." Tara asked Jax. "I'll introduce ya, she's a hell of a woman. Bit on the psychotic side." Jax laughed out.

"Venus, this is my wife Tara and the mother to my children. You haven't met or seen her around here for private reasons." Jax winked at her. "Well aren't you the cutest little thang." Venus said while reaching out for Tara's expanding belly. "May I?" "Uhhmm sure." Tara squeaked out. This woman was definitely overly friendly, but Tara couldn't find it in her to say no. "Aww so beautiful, I can't have children as you probably can already tell. But birthing babies is absolutely beautiful." Venus said while looking at Tig and smiling. "I'm Venus, I am Alexander's girlfriend." she held out her arms towards Tara drawing her in for a gentle hug. "I'm Tara."She said with a questioning voice like she wasn't even sure that was her name. The womans over exhuberance was a bit much for Tara, but she liked her. "Well honey, I gotta get this shindig going, these boys are about as slow as molasses. If you ever have any problems here at the club with these sluts, come find me. I will see you later I hope for the barbecue. Toodles darling. Come along Alexander." Tig followed her than turned and gave Tara a wink over his shoulder. "Wow, just wow, she's wow." Tara stood there stunned starring at the woman. "Venus is a force to be reckoned with thats for sure. We let her get the ball rolling on most of this. We didn't know where to start and she stepped in. The guys hold have a pretty high opinion of her." Jax said while walking Tara back to her car. "If you wanted to wait here to talk to Opie about what your doing, him, Donna, and the kids will be here a bit later after Donna gets off work.

"Tara baby, where you going with my hungry little granddaughter?" Gemma let out pace walking across the parking lot. "Let's get you fed, sweetheart, there's tons of food to eat, and the boys are here as well. We can have ourselves a good day to begin with." Jax stared at his mom in horror, when did her and Tara become on good terms. When did all the niceities happen? "Oh don't give me that look Jackson Teller, me and Tara have been on good terms for a long while. Now git to helping the boys prepare for the car wash rather than standing around. Gemma had started to lead Tara away from Jax yet he still stood there mouth open like a gaping fish.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Again I do not own SOA. Just the storyline. For everyone who left me a review, sorry about the belated next chapter. It's been taking me forever to even be able to write. Kinda stagnant over here, along with working way too much. Hopefully this is up to everyones expectations. Thank you for all the reviews :) I definitely appreciate them. Im hoping to get the next chapter up sooner than this one came out.

Chapter 5:

The barbecue and the car wash went off without a hitch. Everyone was smiling and laughing the day away. Tara couldn't help the flutter she felt in her belly where her daughter's light kicks could be felt. Maybe she too could feel the enthusiam and happiness exuding from everyone. "Have a piece of my most famous apple pie." Venus proclaimed while taking a seat next to Tara. Tara wasn't still sure what to think of this outgoing woman that automatically wanted to think of her as family. Venus's beam of a smile, Tara couldn't help but lean down to take a bite. "Mmmmm oh god," she moaned out. Her eyes were rolling back into her head, the piece of pie was absolutely one of the best things she had ever tasted. Jax just stared at Tara wide eyed, feeling his slight erection hitting the zipper of his pants. He felt like a high school boy hearing the noises coming from his wife's mouth that gave him this reaction. "Tara, honey you okay over there?" Gemma started to reach for her. "This pie, Omg you have no idea how good it is." She said while putting her arm around the plate protectively. If anyone thought they were getting a bite from her plate, she would stab them with her fork. "Oh my, I'm glad you find it so delightful, if you would like, I can grab the other pie from inside and wrap it up for you to take home sweetie?" "YES," she yelled out. She coughed," Yes I mean, yes I would enjoy some pie to take home." Tara gave her a huge grin. "Let me get that for you dear, Alexander, would you like to come help me wrap up some goodies for this lovely lady?" Tig just grunted in response before pushing away from the table to follow his woman into the main clubhouse.

With her plate in hand Gemma had offered to take her back to Opie's house to collect her things than head back to her actual home. Tara had spoken to Donna right after she had shown up. All Donna had said was whatever make's her happy, than she's happy. Opie had given her a big hug and to come find him if Jax was given her any problems. Tara went to find Jax to let him know that she was leaving when a hand grabbed her wrist from behind. It was an unfamiliar man and instinctively Tara wrapped her hands around her belly. "Maybe your old man should watch you better eh? Wouldn't want something to happen to you? It'd be pretty tragic huh?" He spoke in an accent Tara wasn't sure she could place. He wasn't with the IRA or anyone from before. His skin was tan and he had his head shaved back with a biker jacket on. It was probably a fake jacket she assumed. Figuring that was the only way that anyone who meant the club harm could sneak in on this day.

Tara tried to reach into her purse for the glock that Gemma had placed in there the other day, but the man sensed what she seemed to be up to. "I wouldn't do that if I were you. I could blow your fucking brains out before you could even pull it from that purse of yours." Tara wouldn't cry or show weakness where this man was concerned. Someone would hopefully come into the club while this man was in here threatening her. "Tell your old man that he better watch his fucking self unless he wants to die. We are out there waiting for him to fuck up." She shivered as the man basically slithered his way up to her. "Or I could have a little fun with you to really give him the message." The man said while running his fingers through a few of Tara's locks. "Who the fuck are you? Tara, sweetheart, you alright?" Venus happened to walk through the doors and see Tara scrunched up in the corner with some weird man. Tara just stared at Venus with wide doe eyes, silently pleading for her to get the picture. Before the man could even grab his gun at his hip, Venus had hers out and shot the man in the knee caps and busted his jaw on her kneecap effectively knocking the man to the floor in a crumpling heap. "Oh my sweet girl, are you all right?" Venus gently wrapped her arms around Tara giving her a quick hug before turning around snarling like a wildebeest. "Who the fuck are you?" she spit out while pushing her stiletto down into the mans dick. He let out another shriek and a few moans. "You shot my knee you cunt." Venus reached over and stuck her fingers into the gun wound pressing down hard with her fingers. "Now that isn't anyway to speak to a lady now is it?" She spit into the man's face while he thrashed around.

It didn't even take 5 minutes for more than half the mc club to come piling into the clubhouse to the scene of Venus jamming her fingers into a strange man's knee cap on the floor. The gun shot had alerted them that shady shit was going down in their clubhouse. And after Jax had seen Gemma without his wife he had went running fear drowning him. "What the fuck is going on in here? Venus? Tara?" Jax yelled out. Tara couldn't hold it together anymore, it hadn't even been 4 hours since she told him that she wanted to go home and she was already being attacked. She let out a sob before sliding down the wall and curling up into a ball. Jax rushed over to her gathering her into her arms while she shivered so hard from sobbing. Some of the guys couldn't stand to look at her so they looked off to the side instead. It was Venus who than spoke up. "I'm not sure what happened Jackson, I walked in looking for her cause Gemma told me she went inside to try and find you. She didn't come out after 10 minutes so I came in to find this filth had her pressed against the wall. She just gave me this poor help me look, I reacted. Well I shot him. What else is a lady to do?" Venus pointed to the gun across the floor," He had that on him, I kicked it away." Venus stood up and brushed her bloodied fingers across her dress than gave the man a harsh kick in the ribs before walking off. "I absolutely must clean up, I do not want this blood all over the place." Venus said while walking to the ladies room followed by Tig. "Tara, baby, what happened?" "Grab that motherfucker, Chibs, Op!" Jax said noticing the man thought he was going to crawl away.

The guy was moaning and groaning in pain while Chibs and Opie held him slightly off the ground his legs dangling in a heap underneath him and blood pouring from the wound in his knee where Venus agitated it. "Who the fuck are you?" Jax got into the man's face. "Fuck you!" the guy spit in Jax's face causing Jax to punch him hard in the nose effectively breaking it. "I'm not going to ask again, I'll blow your brains out if you don't tell me who the fuck you are, and who the fuck sent you." Jax's voice carried and demanded respect. "I said GO FUCK YOURSELF!" The man screamed back while laughing maniacally. He knew that Teller never let anyone go when they fucked with family. Didn't mean he wanted to do, he had just thought he wouldn't get caught. "Your wife's a pretty piece of ass, the only thing I regret is that I didn't get to fuck her." he than leered at Tara causing her to shiver. The gun resounded across the clubhouse along with blood spraying all over a few of the guys that had stood behind the guy. "Clean this shit up now. We need to figure out who the hell this dude is and who sent this asshole." Jax walked away after instilling is commands to the rest of the group. He was trying to avoid violence and crime, but this couldn't be helped. Family was always a no- no when it came to the Tellers. Tara whimpered into Jax's arms while he helped her off the floor," Let's go see our boys at home, Unser's been watching them today and I'm sure they would like to see their mom. I promise you Tara I will get to the bottom of this. No one fucks with my family. When I gotta go check out the garage and a few other money ventures we are trying out, I'll have 3 of the guys to watch over you at the house. Whoever you want babe. "Jax was trying to calm her nerves of finally coming home to their house.

They got home and the boys were ecstatic to learn that their mom was finally home. Walking down the halls that were so familiar to her, she gave her boys a bath, than crawled into bed with the both of the boys to read them a bedtime story. Halfway through the story though, both boys were soundly asleep snoring. Easing her way up off the bed, she gently pulled the covers up to them. Both Abel and Thomas snuggled into each other on the one bed, Tara didn't have the heart to move them to another bed. It was cute to see them so close together. Than again since her split from Jax for the short while, it must've seemed like they only had each other. Tara decided she needed to take a relaxing bath to destress herself, the baby was kicking like a storm since the earlier incident and still hadn't settled down. Tara's belly looked like there was a little alien inside, the feet indentures were extremely noticeable. Upon reaching the bathroom, she let out a little gasp. There was candles lit and gently placed on the side of their tub and what looked like an inviting bubble bath was calling to her. She was surprised Jax had set this up for her. Maybe he could tell how bad earlier had stressed her. She stripped down and crawled into the warm water, it seeped into her bones. Tara let out a deep sigh. Her muscles were unraveling it felt as if she was finally floating on air. Even the baby must have seemed to agree, because even she settled down inside her mother's belly.

" You comfy in there Tar?" Jax asked her. "Yeah, thanks for everything, you know you didn't have to..." she whispered while looking down. "I know, but I've basically been a real bastard to you for most our lives with very little good things. I want to turn it around, show you I've changed. Maybe we can try sometime in the future to be what we were, and if we don't than that's fine too, but I wanna show you that I can be a real good man to you." Jax basically was telling the truth for the most part minus the fact he didn't think he could be without Tara for the rest of his life. He needed her like he needed air, she was in his blood since they were teens. Her big eyes just looked up at him before giving him a slight smile. "Well, I'll leave you to it, Imma be on the couch, yell if you need anything. You can have the bed tonight." He walked out to the living room after leaving Tara to her churning thoughts. Today had started out okay until the mid day when the event with the guy that no one seemed to know. And again with the death. The picture of Jax blowing the mans brains out in the back of her mind was terrible. She had seen enough death over the years at the hand's of the mc, mainly Jax's stepdad. Clay was well liked and respected amongst the group, but had opted to step down to spend more time with the newer ventures and mainly Gemma. She had a few health scares the last few years that Tara had attended to on and off to do with her heart. The only thing about Clay was he was a no nonsense kind of person. Kill now and ask questions later, no matter who he questioned, if they weren't apart of any allies, than he always dragged them off to murder them. 'God, why am I thinking about all these morbid thoughts?...' She didn't want to think about them, but the death earlier must've triggered everything she had been trying to block out over the years.


End file.
